Sometime in our lives, we are going to have to deal with pain and painful events. A story comes from Coach Tony Dungy of the Super Bowl XLI Champion Indianapolis Colts. Coach Dungy was the featured speaker at the Athletes in Action Bart Starr Award given to New York Jets Curtis Martin on the morning of Super Bowl XL in Detroit. Coach Dungy spoke about the lessons that he’d learned from his three sons. He spoke of his middle son, Eric, who he said shares in his competitiveness and who is focused on sports “to where it’s almost a problem.” He spoke of his youngest son, Jordan, who has a rare congenital condition which causes him not to feel pain. “He feels things, but doesn’t get the sensation of pain,” Dungy said. He said the lessons we’ve learned from Jordan are many. He explained further, “We’ve learned a lot about pain in the last five years we’ve had Jordan. We’ve learned some hurts are necessary for kids. Pain is necessary for kids to find out what’s good and what’s harmful.” One illustration that he used is  Jordan loves cookies. He went on to say, “Cookies are good, but in Jordan’s mind, if they’re good out on the plate, they’re even better in the oven. He will go right in the oven when my wife’s not looking, reach in, take the rack out, take the pan out, burn his hands and eat the cookies and burn his tongue and never feel it. He doesn’t know what’s bad for him. He has no fear of anything, so we constantly have to watch him.” So what lessons had they learned? Dungy said, “The lesson learned is simple. You get the question all the time, ‘Why does the Lord allow pain in your life? Why do bad things happen to good people?’ ‘If God is a God of love, why does He allow these things to happen? We’ve learned a lot of times because of that pain, that little temporary pain, you learn what’s harmful. You learn to fear the right things. Pain sometimes lets us know we have a condition that needs to be healed and that God will send that healing agent right to the spot. Sometimes, pain is the only way that will turn us as kids back to the Father.”

Finally, Dungy spoke of his oldest son, James, who died three days before Christmas. He spoke of not hugging James the last time he saw him, on Thanksgiving. Many have since told me that they have been brought closer to their children by that event. They received a letter that two people had received James’ corneas and now they can see. A girl who knew James at church had written and told them how their witness and celebration of James’ life at the funeral had caused her to believe in the Lord. Dungy returned back to the team one week later. Some asked, “How could you recover so quickly?” Dungy said,” That’s what helped me in the grieving process. Because of  Christ’s Spirit in me, I have the confidence that James is there, at peace with the Lord, and I have the peace of mind in the midst of something that is very painful.” We cannot elude pain, but the Lord is with us to help us in our pain.

Chaplain Stephen Neesley
 

	Chaplain Stephen Neesley, M. Div., VBMC Stephen.Neesley@valleybaptist.net
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